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Showing newest 59 of 537 posts from July 2008. Show older posts
Showing newest 59 of 537 posts from July 2008. Show older posts

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Feathers & Dots Aside, Since When Are Cats Allowed to Own/Operate 7-11 and Dunkin Donuts Franchises?...














heygirlhey

Photo by sonicabuse on Photobucket.com

Where Over 1 Billion Have Been Served & Diamonds Are Accepted As a Form of Currency...

















Disclaimer: no ovens were used in the making of the McBrisket, the Filet-o-Gafelta, or the Matza McNuggets.

heygirlhey

Photo by sw007 on Photobucket.com

Michelle Obama Gives Possible Interns Quite An Intimate Inquisition During the Interview Process...























The copy of her most recent Public Service Announcement reads as follows: "Herpes, the wannabe zit that says I love you.....and yeah, I've been around the block. Jealous?"

heygirlhey

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Crazy Times Square Dancer...

You Don’t See THIS on Broadway... (TMZ Exclusive)


heygirlhey

Brigitte Nielsen is Pulling Out All the Stops to Get Back Flava Flav...






















heygirlhey

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Plantations: The Sotheby's of the South...














This sprawling plantation resides in the Deep South, where the auction itself was invented. Now granted there were people being auctioned as opposed to prized jewels and antiques, but it's all relative. After a 3 day drunk, Honest Abe Lincoln, asked himself, "I freed the what?" But now it all seems worth it, for without his groundbreaking movement, the rap industry, the Maury Povich show, and Planned Parenthood centers would never had existed. So thank you Abe, thank you.

heygirlhey

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A White Woman With a Big Black *@#%...
















"Don't worry, sonny. That's not sweat, it's Jesus Juice. Now go on and drink up, and let me know when you start to feel a bit woozy...Then you can ride me all night long, I mean we can ride the ferris wheel. Oh shoot, I's hope I's hasn't scared you"

heygirlhey

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Mary Carey - Ultimate Fart Girl...



heygirlhey

Too Much of a Good Thing...






















heygirlhey

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Ouchhhhhhh...

...right in the jizz trap:


heygirlhey

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The Good Deal Loving, Coupon Clipping Version of The Dark Knight...






















Retail schmetail.

heygirlhey

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Andy Richter - Naked on Today...



heygirlhey

Hypocrit: You Can't Tell Me Her "Cat" Doesn't Get a Worse Pounding Every Night on the Corner of Hollywood and Vine...

















Repeatedly and excessively torturing a pussy is just as cruel as genetically engineering and slaughtering a chicken. She needs to reevaluate her own moral code before judging Colonel Sanders, who's just an honest man trying to make a living by capitalizing on an undeniable stereotype of a certain dark niché.

heygirlhey

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The Ultimate Predator Deterrant That is the Almighty Chris Hansen...


The man's like an African native running next to a zebra......now you see him, now you don't.

heygirlhey

Photo by uploadsyn on Photobucket.com

Uhhhhh, Yes It Is...






















heygirlhey

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That's What the Rosie O'Donnell Said...











heygirlhey

Photo by dixieangel55 on Photobucket.com

I Had No Idea Brazil Was in the Orient...


















I love how Woody Allen's future wives are laughing at the well-known tan boy who make a funny. Hehehehehehehehe

heygirlhey

Photo by discodriscoll on Photobucket.com

For Those Who Have Trouble Finding Their Own Lady Skin Fish, You Now Have a Place To Go...

















Just don't forget a packet of tissues or a towel of some sort when your right hand's excursion is done touring your trouser snake.

heygirlhey

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Dear God I Hope That's Milk...






















....and not bottled remains from the night before with the St. Louis Rams. Semen: the body wash of the ghetto. Why buy the prostitute, when you can milk all over her for free.

heygirlhey

Photo by spiceyras on Photobucket.com

Brokeback Washington...






















Although they've both readily bent over for the G.O.P., I'm having trouble deciphering who's the hand-spitter/penetrator and who catches in this homo-on-the-down-low pairing? Do they swing with Senator Craig and Cogressman Foley? Who brings the whips? Who brings the chains? And most importantly, who brings the condoms? Or, do they go bareback? So many questions, so little time.

heygirlhey

Photo by zen03y on Photobucket.com

Oh Lawd, The VIEW's Sherri Shepherd Does Not Look Happy...
















Someone better get homegirl an answer.

heygirlhey

Photo by zen03y on Photobucket.com

Janet Reno Spices Up Her Image With This New FHM SPREAD...






















She's bringing sexy back, those other cougars don't know how to act. Capitol Hill isn't going to know what hit it. Ow Ow! She puts the grrrrrrr in cougar!

heygirlhey

Photo by dnwied on Photobucket.com

Beer Pong Simplified...






















heygirlhey

Photo by ZoSozd on Photobucket.com

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Carey Hart Builds a VaSANDgina Castle As An Ode to Former Love Pink...













A pink canal for his Pink gal. The seaweed pubes are a lovely edition.

heygirlhey

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Trebek, I'll Take Fiesty For $2000, And Make It a True Daily Double(see positions section)...






















heygirlhey

Photo by yellowhampster on Photobucket.com

It's Super Jew!!! Saving the World One Penny At a Time...






















When there's a gafelta fish in need.....it's Super Jew to the rescue. When an old lady has dropped her change, who's there to swing down from the sky and take it from her??? Super Jew. And when everything at Barneys goes 60% off, who gets in line 3 days before the sale??? Yes, that's right...Super Jew. He survives solely on a meager diet of rye bread and brisket, and is fueled by the manishevitz wine that runs through his veins, while his curls act as assault weapons when necessary. There's only one more thing that can be said about this wonder: Oy.

heygirlhey

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Alcoholic Baby - Hasselhoff Started At a Young Age...



heygirlhey

The Autobiography of Clay Aiken is Titled As Follows...





















heygirlhey

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Ed Westwick, Just Because...


Unf*ckingbelievable. Cue Snoop Dogg's 'Sexual Seduction'.

heygirlhey

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A Secret the Church Has Been Trying to Hide Since the Beginning of Time...

















...Jesus was into hardcore porn, and had a foot fetish. It's not really much of a 'shocker', especially with his bountiful flavor savoring facial hair. Now, when you're out at night, you can fittingly ask yourself when deciding whether or not to go home with someone, What Would Jesus Do? The answer: bang out.............while watching Forrest Hump and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis ofcourse.

heygirlhey

Photo by kellys1974 on Photobucket.com

After the Media Blitz Surrounding Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford Takes Some Time Out To Relax With His Pets...






















Let's just say that finger was being used elsewhere before this candid shot was taken.

heygirlhey

Photo by fionelle on Photobucket.com

There Must Not Be a Lot of Single Gals in Hotel Rwanda...






















If this doesn't change your view of Goat Cheese, I don't know what will. God bless.

heygirlhey

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No Homo (Lil Wayne A Milli Parody)...



heygirlhey

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself...





















No explanation necessary.

heygirlhey

Photo by superumichan on Photobucket.com

The Pervert Statue Cops a Feel on Carrot Top...
















He looks so beautiful now that he's off the 'roids. But apparently his new look isn't working so well with the ladies; for he is having to dry hump statues and ride various items in the produce section of his local market, ie. cucumbers, bananas, squash. Go on with your bad self. However I must ask, do the carrot top curtains match the drapes? Fire in the hole.

heygirlhey

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Ahhhhh, the Simple Joys of the Blue Collar Worker...






















Taint: the in between meat that makes it all worth while.

heygirlhey

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Bring Your Trojans and Have No Fear, Because Right In Front of You Stands...


















heygirlhey

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After a Run In With Suge Knight at Los Angeles Club, Les Deux, Coolio Has Chosen to Play it Safe...






















heygirlhey

Photo by Bamaswrill on Photobucket.com

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong Split...























No one saw this cumming. It's so unlike her to get extremely serious with a guy, and then move on. Truly uncharacteristic of the skin bicycle that is her vajayjay. Cue Oprah saying, "My vajayjay is painin." While it is true that sometime's a girl, or any member of the Backstreet Boys, has to kiss a lot of frogs to find her prince, hopefully the constant spread eagleness will soon come to an end and she will find everlasting love. Cue Borat saying, "Nnnnnooooooottttttt."

heygirlhey

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Nickelback 'Popstar' Parody...



heygirlhey

McCain Might Want to Rethink This New Poster...


















Although highly accurate, I'm not quite sure this is the best way to rally support at the moment.

heygirlhey

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Miss Winfrey Got Her Toes Did...










Lady in red...........

heygirlhey

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Smell Yo Dick...



heygirlhey

Coming to a Capitol Near You...






















heygirlhey

Photo by juntaco on Photobucket.com

The People at Miller May Want to Consider Branching Out Into the Makeup Market...













heygirlhey

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Literally...























heygirlhey

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The Dark Knight Has Taken On An Entirely New Meaning...



heygirlhey

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That's What He Said...










heygirlhey

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Yes He Did, But In Doing So He Gave Jobs to Millions of Pakistani Immigrants...













So I guess it all worked out just fine for those that brought 'fire in the hole' curry to the U.S. Ya win some, ya lose some.

heygirlhey

Photo by kimandchris2 on Photobucket.com

Oh No You Di'int...



heygirlhey

Photo by sarahj259 on Photobucket.com

Next Month in Architectural Digest...

















A preview photo from the spread taken at Jenna Jameson's home shared with Tito Ortiz. Exhibit A......the shower beef curtains. Enough said. Life imitating art in its purest form.

heygirlhey

Photo by monireath on Photobucket.com

Think Twice Before Ordering the Sesame Chicken Next Time...


















Behold the first actually true Chinese fortune. In an unrelated matter, puppy mills are seeing unprecedented sales figures. Sick.

heygirlhey

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The Dirty Sanchez Comes to Life...


















Who would've ever thought that the mythical wonder that is the dirty sanchez sexual 'stache was a real, tangible thing? This predator in training has proved that poop mustaches really do exist, and if you're good enough, one day you'll get one too. Ambitious indeed.

heygirlhey

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Very True...


















......but it also has a lot to do with the size of the 'carat'.

heygirlhey

Photo by takaradoll on Photobucket.com

Fart Breathing Is Good For You...



heygirlhey

Offensive License Plate...



heygirlhey

Maybelline: Because Sometimes No Means Yes...



















heygirlhey

Photo by GavDoff on Photobucket.com

My, My, You Have So Much to Learn...








heygirlhey

The World Cup Gets a Little RACEy...
















heygirlhey

Photo by kpruss on Photobucket.com