heygirlhey
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Showing newest 59 of 537 posts from July 2008. Show older posts
Showing newest 59 of 537 posts from July 2008. Show older posts
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Where Over 1 Billion Have Been Served & Diamonds Are Accepted As a Form of Currency...
Disclaimer: no ovens were used in the making of the McBrisket, the Filet-o-Gafelta, or the Matza McNuggets.
heygirlhey
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Michelle Obama Gives Possible Interns Quite An Intimate Inquisition During the Interview Process...
The copy of her most recent Public Service Announcement reads as follows: "Herpes, the wannabe zit that says I love you.....and yeah, I've been around the block. Jealous?"
heygirlhey
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Plantations: The Sotheby's of the South...
This sprawling plantation resides in the Deep South, where the auction itself was invented. Now granted there were people being auctioned as opposed to prized jewels and antiques, but it's all relative. After a 3 day drunk, Honest Abe Lincoln, asked himself, "I freed the what?" But now it all seems worth it, for without his groundbreaking movement, the rap industry, the Maury Povich show, and Planned Parenthood centers would never had existed. So thank you Abe, thank you.
heygirlhey
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A White Woman With a Big Black *@#%...
"Don't worry, sonny. That's not sweat, it's Jesus Juice. Now go on and drink up, and let me know when you start to feel a bit woozy...Then you can ride me all night long, I mean we can ride the ferris wheel. Oh shoot, I's hope I's hasn't scared you"
heygirlhey
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Hypocrit: You Can't Tell Me Her "Cat" Doesn't Get a Worse Pounding Every Night on the Corner of Hollywood and Vine...
Repeatedly and excessively torturing a pussy is just as cruel as genetically engineering and slaughtering a chicken. She needs to reevaluate her own moral code before judging Colonel Sanders, who's just an honest man trying to make a living by capitalizing on an undeniable stereotype of a certain dark niché.
heygirlhey
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The Ultimate Predator Deterrant That is the Almighty Chris Hansen...
The man's like an African native running next to a zebra......now you see him, now you don't.
heygirlhey
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I Had No Idea Brazil Was in the Orient...
I love how Woody Allen's future wives are laughing at the well-known tan boy who make a funny. Hehehehehehehehe
heygirlhey
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For Those Who Have Trouble Finding Their Own Lady Skin Fish, You Now Have a Place To Go...
Just don't forget a packet of tissues or a towel of some sort when your right hand's excursion is done touring your trouser snake.
heygirlhey
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Dear God I Hope That's Milk...
....and not bottled remains from the night before with the St. Louis Rams. Semen: the body wash of the ghetto. Why buy the prostitute, when you can milk all over her for free.
heygirlhey
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Brokeback Washington...
Although they've both readily bent over for the G.O.P., I'm having trouble deciphering who's the hand-spitter/penetrator and who catches in this homo-on-the-down-low pairing? Do they swing with Senator Craig and Cogressman Foley? Who brings the whips? Who brings the chains? And most importantly, who brings the condoms? Or, do they go bareback? So many questions, so little time.
heygirlhey
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Janet Reno Spices Up Her Image With This New FHM SPREAD...
She's bringing sexy back, those other cougars don't know how to act. Capitol Hill isn't going to know what hit it. Ow Ow! She puts the grrrrrrr in cougar!
heygirlhey
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Carey Hart Builds a VaSANDgina Castle As An Ode to Former Love Pink...
A pink canal for his Pink gal. The seaweed pubes are a lovely edition.
heygirlhey
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It's Super Jew!!! Saving the World One Penny At a Time...
When there's a gafelta fish in need.....it's Super Jew to the rescue. When an old lady has dropped her change, who's there to swing down from the sky and take it from her??? Super Jew. And when everything at Barneys goes 60% off, who gets in line 3 days before the sale??? Yes, that's right...Super Jew. He survives solely on a meager diet of rye bread and brisket, and is fueled by the manishevitz wine that runs through his veins, while his curls act as assault weapons when necessary. There's only one more thing that can be said about this wonder: Oy.
heygirlhey
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Ed Westwick, Just Because...
Unf*ckingbelievable. Cue Snoop Dogg's 'Sexual Seduction'.
heygirlhey
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A Secret the Church Has Been Trying to Hide Since the Beginning of Time...
...Jesus was into hardcore porn, and had a foot fetish. It's not really much of a 'shocker', especially with his bountiful flavor savoring facial hair. Now, when you're out at night, you can fittingly ask yourself when deciding whether or not to go home with someone, What Would Jesus Do? The answer: bang out.............while watching Forrest Hump and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis ofcourse.
heygirlhey
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After the Media Blitz Surrounding Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford Takes Some Time Out To Relax With His Pets...
Let's just say that finger was being used elsewhere before this candid shot was taken.
heygirlhey
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There Must Not Be a Lot of Single Gals in Hotel Rwanda...
If this doesn't change your view of Goat Cheese, I don't know what will. God bless.
heygirlhey
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The Pervert Statue Cops a Feel on Carrot Top...
He looks so beautiful now that he's off the 'roids. But apparently his new look isn't working so well with the ladies; for he is having to dry hump statues and ride various items in the produce section of his local market, ie. cucumbers, bananas, squash. Go on with your bad self. However I must ask, do the carrot top curtains match the drapes? Fire in the hole.
heygirlhey
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Ahhhhh, the Simple Joys of the Blue Collar Worker...
Taint: the in between meat that makes it all worth while.
heygirlhey
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Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong Split...
No one saw this cumming. It's so unlike her to get extremely serious with a guy, and then move on. Truly uncharacteristic of the skin bicycle that is her vajayjay. Cue Oprah saying, "My vajayjay is painin." While it is true that sometime's a girl, or any member of the Backstreet Boys, has to kiss a lot of frogs to find her prince, hopefully the constant spread eagleness will soon come to an end and she will find everlasting love. Cue Borat saying, "Nnnnnooooooottttttt."
heygirlhey
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
McCain Might Want to Rethink This New Poster...
Although highly accurate, I'm not quite sure this is the best way to rally support at the moment.
heygirlhey
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Yes He Did, But In Doing So He Gave Jobs to Millions of Pakistani Immigrants...
So I guess it all worked out just fine for those that brought 'fire in the hole' curry to the U.S. Ya win some, ya lose some.
heygirlhey
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Next Month in Architectural Digest...
A preview photo from the spread taken at Jenna Jameson's home shared with Tito Ortiz. Exhibit A......the shower beef curtains. Enough said. Life imitating art in its purest form.
heygirlhey
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Think Twice Before Ordering the Sesame Chicken Next Time...
Behold the first actually true Chinese fortune. In an unrelated matter, puppy mills are seeing unprecedented sales figures. Sick.
heygirlhey
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The Dirty Sanchez Comes to Life...
Who would've ever thought that the mythical wonder that is the dirty sanchez sexual 'stache was a real, tangible thing? This predator in training has proved that poop mustaches really do exist, and if you're good enough, one day you'll get one too. Ambitious indeed.
heygirlhey
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Monday, July 28, 2008
Very True...
......but it also has a lot to do with the size of the 'carat'.
heygirlhey
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